she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
