She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
