i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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