So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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