is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
