I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
