ya dads aren't the best wingmen
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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