we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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