I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
