Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
