Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize