There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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