i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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