There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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