Banned from zoo.
Again?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
