I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
