Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
