I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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