I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
