how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
