you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
