arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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