Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
