I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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