Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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