Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
