Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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