Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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