i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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