just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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