So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
