Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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