I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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