so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
