this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize