Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
