Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
