Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
