roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
