enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
