All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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