...so i touched it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My cat gives me a boner
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
