There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
