At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
