i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
