when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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