Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
