So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
