i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
