Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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